Grace McBreen

My Daughter Grace...

Sinéad Fidgeon was pregnant with a baby girl when she was told at her 16 week scan that something was wrong with her daughter. She and her husband were repeatedly encouraged to terminate the pregnancy, and Sinead was told over and over again that her baby was 'incompatible with life'.

We're giving you every chance Grace...

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Devastating News...

We had already had two scans and just told our four children they would be getting a new brother or sister when things went wrong for us... It was at 16 weeks when my consultant told us that something was wrong...

He showed me the scan and pointed out the fluid around the baby ...he organised an appointment for the following day in Dublin, telling me that we would find out there what the problem was...

We were very upset and headed to Dublin where we were scanned, hoping that it was all a mistake. I was told my baby resembled the 'Michelin Man', and how surprising it was that I hadn't miscarried before this...

Again I was shown the scan and the fluid that surrounded the baby's brain and organs and they pointed out a large swelling at the neck which was diagnosed as a Cystic Hygroma.

We're all waiting to meet you, Grace...

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I was advised not to 'take the difficult route'...

Chorionic villus sampling, often referred to as CVS, is a diagnostic test for identifying chromosome abnormalities and other inherited disorders. We were sent to have a CVS and straight after sat down and told that the best option would be not to continue with the pregnancy... I was devastated... I still had such hope that everything would be fine...

When I asked would it not make sense to wait for results of CVS I was told that I should just 'move on and get on with my life'. Stupidly, I asked if they meant an abortion and was told that it wasn't an abortion but a 'medical management' of my pregnancy with their sister hospital in the UK, and not to feel bad, that it was happening all the time...

Loving you beyond all our wildest dreams...

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Never once was it suggested that there was any support if I carried on with the pregnancy, but it was pointed out that I was taking the 'difficult' route... as the pregnancy had no chance of going to full term. I left telling them I would not consider a termination, and would give the baby every chance.

We went home and a few days later got the phone call to say 'I'm very sorry, the baby has Down Syndrome'. To be honest, we were relieved as we felt that this meant our baby would survive and wasn't what they called 'incompatible with life’.  It was upsetting and scary of course but after the previous few days we were grateful that our baby would live.

This was short lived...

A day or two later my own consultant rang to ask us to come see him. He asked did I understand what I was told in Dublin and I said yes, the baby has Down Syndrome. Then he informed us that this did not mean anything, but that the baby would not survive past 20 weeks pregnancy...

Apparently, the fluid would eventually stop the baby's heart. Again, it was suggested that it would be best to 'discontinue' the pregnancy and get on with life!! We were totally devastated and said that as long as the baby's heart was beating we would give the baby every chance and let nature take its course.

So we went home and agreed to attend a weekly visit to check if the heart stopped... Again it was suggested that we were taking a difficult route in continuing as the doctors were 100% certain the baby would not survive...

We were so upset... Weeks went by and every week we had a check to see if the baby's heart had stopped... Every week we were so relieved that it was not but told again and again it was only a matter of weeks...

We found out that the baby was a girl and we called her Grace... We were advised to tell our children that the baby would not survive and to pick a plot in the graveyard for her... (Which we did...)

Know that we will love you unconditionally, little Grace...

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Weeks went by and I could feel her kick. Scans continued to show hydrops and cystic hygroma but by 30 weeks Grace was still with us... Every day felt like a blessing to have her another day...

At a scan at 32 weeks our doctor turned the screen to me and said that the fluid was gone... He said everything looked normal and he couldn't understand how this could happen...

We were overjoyed... After months of waiting to lose her we had hope!

We were advised that it did not mean our baby would live and we could be back to square one by the next week.

Little Grace arrives into the world...

Meeting Mam and Dad for the first time...

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... But Grace had other plans... she was born at 37 weeks by planned Caesarean in November 2014 ... Pink and screaming... Yes, she had Down syndrome but she was perfect in every way!!!

The neck swelling was not what they thought and disappeared within days... Her heart was strong... She amazed us all...

They called her miracle baby in the hospital... I don't fault the doctors who diagnosed Grace with a so-called "fatal foetal abnormality"... They truly believed the outcome from what they saw on the scans but they were misinterpreted... But I would never have known this if we hadn't continued with the pregnancy

Grace is our miracle... She was meant to be and was given every chance... I understand that many many other parents are not so lucky with these diagnoses but I truly believe that every baby deserves a chance and that nature should be allowed to take its course.

Amn't I just soooo cute...!

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This bag is so much fun...!

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I have these two stars to dote on me...!

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with love to all my family, Sinéad Fidgeon

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DOWN SYNDROME is a congenital disorder arising from a chromosome defect, causing intellectual impairment and physical abnormalities including short stature and a broad facial profile. It arises from a defect involving chromosome 21, usually an extra copy (trisomy-21).

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Links Down Syndrome Ireland International Down Syndrome Coalition Inclusion Ireland World Down Syndrome Day Our children are not a diagnosis